


sedation

by angelhums



Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: Dark Room Spoilers, i needed to vent abt my boy!, theres dermatillomania if youre sensitive to that. and self harm and abuse and drug use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-05
Updated: 2015-08-05
Packaged: 2018-04-13 03:02:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4505184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelhums/pseuds/angelhums
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Choice is a powerful thing. Nathan wouldn't know.</p>
            </blockquote>





	sedation

At eight years old, Nathan sees bright lights that aren't there and claws at his skin until he's bleeding. 

"Nate, stop!" His mother begs, grabbing his wrists to keep him from scratching anymore. Kris is crying, and he can hear his father being loud in the kitchen. 

"Mom!" He pleads, shaking an arm loose and trying to rip one of his own fingernails off. Within seconds, the warm presence of his mother is replaced with his father's cold and dark one. 

"Stop!" He shouts, and the lights get brighter and the itching gets stronger. Nathan pulls and tugs, trying to ground himself and stop hurting. 

Without hesitation, his father slaps him so hard across the face that his head spins. 

The lights fade, and he stares tearfully up at him. 

"Go to your room, Nathan, and think about what you're doing to us!" His voice booms, and he hurries away. 

That night, Nathan tries to stab his own eye out with a pair of scissors. He gets a ride to the hospital at 3am, and his parents lie to the doctors about how he got the injury. 

✴✳❇

Year 14 of this hell. Nathan meets a girl who knows how to quiet the intense emotions that makes him break things and try to break himself. 

"You need to tell your parents how you feel," Victoria says soothingly, rubbing his back as his heads rests between his knees and he tries to calm the anxiety coursing through him with stolen booze. 

"Come to my house for dinner. Maybe they'll listen to you," he says weakly, trying to pull her closer. She rests her head on his shoulder, agreeing. 

His parents love Victoria. She is mild mannered and sweet, all for the good of Nathan. He spends the meal anxiously picking at the dry skin on his fingers. 

"Oh, I worry about him sometimes, though. I think he needs a therapist or something." 

After she leaves, his dad corners him in the bathroom. 

"What did you tell her? Why does she know about your issues, Nate?"

"Because she's my friend, dad! And she knows I need help. Please, can I please get help?" He has to keep himself upright by clinging to the sink.

His dad stares at him for a long time before grabbing a fistful of his brown hair and slamming his head into the mirror and leaving. Nathan doesn't cry this time, just picks glass from his forehead and hairline, wraps a towel around his head and crawls into bed with his legs hanging over the edge.

The next morning, Nathan's bleary eyes first focus on two bottles of prescription pills on his bedside table. 

ONE OF EACH IN THE MORNING, THIS BETTER FIX YOUR BEHAVIOR, BRAT.

Aching, Nathan pops the pills and washes them down with the warm beer hidden under the bed. Ignoring the warning label, he rolls over and falls asleep once more. 

✴✳❇

"What will make me lose myself the fastest? I don't want to be me today," Nathan says, swaying slightly to the electronic music filtering in from the speakers. The VIP area smells like weed and sweat. He bought a little bit of everything from Frank Bowers, the creepy drug dealer in the RV. 

Hayden squints, looking down at the arrangement before pushing a sheet of acid and a small baggie of cocaine towards him.   
"Try taking them both at the same time," he advises.

Victoria rubs the small of Nathan's back as he puts a bit on his tongue and starts arranging the cocaine with his credit card. 

❇✳✴

"Rachel, oh fuck," Nathan breathes heavily, pacing in his dorm. He did this. This is all his fault. 

The missing persons poster seems to be taunting him as his skin starts to burn. Shit, he's coming back down. The phone hidden behind his couch buzzes but he focuses on loading a bowl with shaky fingers.

Once he manages to get a good high going, he chain smokes cigarettes until the burning in his lungs is too much and he has to crack a window. Someone is pounding on his door, but he screams for them to leave him alone and they eventually do. 

"Stop pushing me, let me think," Nathan sobs, trying to keep his heart from pounding out of his chest. He grasps at his chest, picking at the skin under his shirt until he's bleeding. 

He uses the Rachel Amber poster as a bandage before throwing it out the window. 

✴✳❇

Kate Marsh. Soft, sensitive, shy. This betrayal of innocence makes him feel sick and filthy.

In his dreams, her golden cross glints in the lights in the dark room and he feels like he's being set on fire.

When he's awake, he watches her glistening tears fall from her chin and looks away, hugging himself for warmth.


End file.
